Mark 8:27-38

When my son Joel was four years old, he started cello lessons. Joel had great musical aptitude, but he wasn’t much for practicing. His instruction was the Suzuki method, which utilizes parents to help the student practice. But I spent most of my time trying to get Joel to focus. I literally stood on my head one day to get him to play “French Folk Song.”

Parenthood is full of such demands: sleepless nights, hours in the car, managing the family calendar. We put our own goals aside to pay for childcare, activities, college. It’s a sacrifice of time, money, and brain space.

Parenthood isn’t the only thing in life that demands self-denial: any serious relationship does. If you take responsibility to be a supervisor; if you have a best friend; if you covenant with a partner to be there for them, you have to show up. You have to consider their needs. You need to put aside your own agenda and focus on them.

That’s what Jesus was talking about in our Gospel lesson today. If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. To become Jesus’ follower is a significant relationship. It makes demands on you and requires sacrifice.

But most relationships don’t start off with sacrifice; they start with getting to know each other. Our Gospel story is no different—it starts with the question of who Jesus is. Who do people say that I am? he asks his disciples. They give the answers they had heard, but Peter hits the nail on the head: You are the Messiah, the Christ. According to Jewish tradition, the Messiah was a military leader who would overthrow the Romans and be a good and free people.

But Jesus alters this vision—instead of military victory, Jesus predicts his upcoming suffering, rejection, death. He was a leader, a teacher, a healer, but he wouldn’t be king of a new world order.

Jesus then says to the crowd: If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. In other words, That’s who I am… Who are you?  Are you my follower? If so, here is what you can expect—sacrifice and suffering, the same as me.

There is an element of historical truth about Jesus’ stark statement. In Jesus’ day, Jews in Palestine lived with Roman soldiers on every corner. The Jews had a reputation for revolt; crucifixions were a common means of keeping the population in submission. Anyone who criticized Rome was considered a threat. Claiming Jesus as Messiah, a military ruler to regain independence would surely put a big target on your back.

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross And follow me. With demands like that, you wonder why anyone would follow Jesus. But Jesus was a wonder worker. He healed people with his touch, inspired them with his words, showed them new possibilities for their lives. He made them feel hope was possible. Crowds of people thronged him everywhere, and the disciples found him so compelling they left their livelihoods and families to follow him.

These people had already made sacrifices to follow Jesus. They did it willingly because they wanted to. If any want to become my followers, Jesus said. It was a decision borne of desire. These people wanted to be with Jesus. They wanted the hope and healing he provided. And despite his prediction of his passion and death, despite his warning that following him would exact a personal cost, people still chose to follow him. They believed that Jesus stood for something that made it worth the sacrifice.

I think that’s why family and dear friends and good neighbors deny themselves and put aside their own needs in order to care for one another. It’s because of the love and care they have in the relationship. It’s because they value what the relationship stands for. It’s because the end goal, whether it’s raising a good human or getting a friend through a hard time or doing the right thing or practicing forgiveness, is a good they believe in.

I was willing to stand on my head that day long ago because I loved Joel and I wanted to share my love of music with him. I wanted to give that gift to his life—it was a good I believed in. That enterprise failed, actually; Joel quit the cello after one year. But he took up playing percussion with praise band and developed what I had hoped for in the first place—a lifelong love of music.

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. Jesus was inviting people into a relationship, to be his followers. He was inviting their desire. He was inviting them to consider the costs of being a disciple.

Jesus gives us the same invitation. it’s not considered a political threat to be a Christian in our country; we are not likely to lose our lives for our faith. But following Jesus makes a claim on us. We do make sacrifices to follow Jesus: we spend time in worship and study and prayer at church and forgo other worthy ways to spend those hours. We give money and volunteer our expertise to run the ministries of the church. We stand up for the priorities of Jesus, who cared for the poor, touched the sick, and welcomed the stranger. We practice forgiveness, and share wealth rather than accumulating it. It’s a life marked by giving, and it can be costly.

I am working with the people who are going to be sharing personal stories for our fall generosity appeal that will kick off next month. Each one of them has made a decision to follow Jesus, and that decision has changed them, cost them in some way. They are giving a lot of themselves here at Epiphany, serving in many different ways, contributing generously, doing the hard work of standing up for what is right. But each one of them says the same thing:  “I get more out of it than I put in.”

They have discovered a truth: relationship with Jesus isn’t a life of self-abnegation. It doesn’t mean “giving ‘til it hurts.” It is a willing sacrifice and joyful service. We get more out of it than we put in.

Here’s the deal, folks: The Christian life isn’t primarily about sacrifice. It’s about love. It’s about relationship with the One who leads us to abundant life. There is no price you can put on God’s love, nothing more valuable than being known and accepted, being a part of a community of care. Following Jesus means that we choose his way of self-giving love, even to the point of suffering, because in the end, the relationship is what matters. The giving and receiving of love is what matters. And it is worth it.

If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.

You don’t have to stand on your head, but you do have to choose.

Choose to live wholeheartedly.

Choose to love with abandon.

Choose to shoulder the burden, bear the cost,

Because the relationship with Jesus is worth it.

The relationship with others is worth it.

The community of faith is worth it.

You get more out of it than you put in.